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4/23/11

Harbor a grudge affair

detected with husband Bo, Lan says:" Absolutely right away! What can forgive adultery but never !". and Ms. Lan Anh (30 years old, Hang Bai, Hanoi) is six years of marriage, had one son was 4. In the eyes of the people, they are a pair of perfect happiness. British Telecommunication gentle, quiet, but dang good and caring wife and children. Lan and she is beautiful, charming, educated. Therefore, from the wedding day, confident Lan, never mind skeptical husband. Only when the accidental discovery of her husband's romantic message with another girl, her new Lan "fall back".

Extremely painful, disappointing, but live according to principles and love vows early age, she insisted on holding a foreign divorce and then claim, despite his Update kneeled down to beg for forgiveness. Her parents tried to encourage both sides to prevent, but Lan said: "Because of love for her husband, the husband should be as private can not accept this truth." Result, the marriage broke after 6 years of marriage happiness.


Speaking on this issue, experts Bich Ha - Center Light psychological counseling (line hot 1900 561284 / 1088-2-12) said that, according to several surveys, 80% male adultery is only intended to hang one time and had no intention to leave his wife. Thus, as the wife Lan decision in this case divorce is rushed, unfortunately. This reflects the skills they have less, less experienced social, psychological rigidity and not selflessness.

Expert's perspective, it is not priority love for man or that men are entitled to the moon flower, bee moth. The question here is between what is and considering the loss of a woman after the divorce. Unlike men, women will face many disadvantages when her husband (especially when they have kids), such as social pressure, responsible for raising children and youth no longer have more opportunities to choose from. Therefore, if the husband still have feelings, want to target families as they heal the best solution for both parties.

Presumably, most wives are aware of the problem mentioned above. So according to a survey, 70% are willing to forgive you if you get married honest error detection seeing.

But this forgiveness is easier?

In fact, some women after bypass infidelity to her husband but did not truly forgiven. Story of his family Hoang Tu (35 years, business staff, the company LN) is an example.

Anh Tu said, two years ago, because the minute "heat stroke" was "trot wild" lovers out there. Later, his wife was discovered, he is extremely remorseful repentance. At first he did not hear his wife filed for divorce, but then because of injury and two children because he truly regrets that she, too, should be ignored. However, since then, their marriage went cold very much. Mainly derived from his wife. Tu told him, apparently his wife could not forget the old story, he went disbelief "pho" is a constant in her head. Have the time, his work is extremely busy, must often work overtime, but it explains why his wife would not understand and give him a sin, "the old familiar horse." In addition, each time the two conflict, his wife will pull out old stories to torment, dominate her husband. By now, he feels real family life fatigue.

Story of his Middle longer than sad. Also one who is defeated, but Bank Road infidelity - his wife proved softer than China and quick to forgive him before the formation of emergency. However, three years after that, his new Middle detect bitterness in my heart, the Bank has never ignore such mistakes, even she secretly cherished the intention to revenge her husband also goes by " eating paper. "

When both decided to sign the divorce agreement, Bank candidly admit that, from the date of that betrayal, she was very ill, do not believe anymore and loving husband . Divorce may not pass because she was newly born children, economic capacity has not let her alone to raise children. She would tell myself to wait, "the opportunity is ripe." After three years of effort to make money, in love with her husband, there is no full, complete, with the Bank to a widower, success. This time, his new Middle painfully realized he had lost his wife from this long without knowing it.

According to experts Bich Ha, with these women, my memory has betrayed her husband obsession, becoming deep psychological wounds, can lead to extreme actions such as jealousy, blind hatred, plotting revenge. But that only brings disadvantages for the woman who physically and mentally. For example, traumatic psychological stress leads to certification, long nervous breakdown, insomnia, rapid aging, more serious can become pathological, who turn into bitter with life, which ones around, namely her husband, they are also tired, depressed by, which leads to alienation and broken families.

Even for active women, husbands revenge by looking to other men as his central story, whether they are measuring all the difficulties can be encountered with her new husband, if they could find a perfect home when her husband live in it's the other? These are questions no one dared to assert before answering.

Tips for the wives

adultery - the problem is not new, the subject forever, but as anyone who falls into that situation are also not out of feeling stuck, powerless or make mistakes, especially women. Here are some tips from experts, help you make wise decisions if one may not detect cheating husband:

- Wife needs calm consideration

problems - Learn why adultery causes her husband (because his wife really bored or just have fun, myself to blame for not ...)

- Very delicate subjects skillfully learn Tuesday (but absolutely not the jealous type or similar actions). Since then, the comparison between himself and the object to identify its strengths and weaknesses.

- From these rules will make the decision whether or not to divorce.

- If you decide to divorce, the need to consider carefully between what is a loss.

- If ignored, they must pour out all the extremists in our thoughts, learn to forgive, search to relive the feeling of early love, more improvement in her role as wife.

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